About Connie Sands
Connie Sands
Founder and CEO of Hot Money Relationship LLC
Hello, there! My Name is Connie Sands, Women’s Wealth Mentor and the Founder and CEO of Hot Money Relationship LLC.
My goal is to help women boldly step into a sexy, fun, confident “HOT” Money Relationship so they can have more options, choices, and freedom to live the cushy life they want.
Growing up, I was the first of six children in a Mexican-American family. Dad was the reliable provider. My Mom was a homemaker through the school year and worked at a local cannery during summers to bring in extra income. Mom was raised by a spendthrift mother and an absentee father and her childhood was always feast or famine. This made her leary of tough times and started her on the road to being a consistent and focused saver. Having a cash stash gave Mom a sense of safety and independence.
My parents did not have a happy marriage. And the number one bone of contention between them was money. The topic of money was a volatile, emotional hot button in our home. Ongoing money fights and squabbles created tense, scary episodes for my siblings and me. For us kids, money was something to avoid mentioning.
Although poor, Mom had taste and a sense of elegance. She preferred to have one finely made dress to owning half a dozen of lesser quality. After a childhood as a migrant worker with frequent moves, her biggest dream was to have a home of her own where she could stay put. It was a dream not to be denied and saving for the down payment became her secret weapon.
Ever the responsible one, my Dad worked steadily to bring home the bacon while resisting Mom’s plan for homeownership; it was a risk and seemed too great a responsibility. Dad was born and raised in Mexico where there were no safety nets. My grandfather died when Dad was 12. He was the youngest in his family, and his teenaged older sister and my grandmother had to hustle to keep body and soul together for themselves and him. Tough financial times as a kid made Dad fearful and averse to risk-taking of any kind when it came to money. He, too, was an avid saver.
Fast forward to San Jose, CA in the mid 1960’s where Dad saw a mortgage as a risk he didn’t want to take. Mom, on the other hand, didn’t see a risk, she saw an investment in her family’s well-being, in herself, and in the future. The sticking point was that Mom and Dad didn’t trust each with their respective earnings and therefore never shared them with each other. They divided, but didn’t conquer. The money wars continued, but somehow we got a house, located as it turned out in a neighborhood that in 2018 is considered a very prime area of San Jose.
The marriage was still miserably unhappy. The arguments and squabbles over money never stopped. BUT they each LOVED that house. They worked hard and had-off-and-on truces out of love for that house. They eked out the thirty-year mortgage and at the end of those thirty years, the house was paid off. Dad and Mom both became disabled over time, but the house was secured. This head-butting pair of depression-era children of poverty gave their six kids a comfortable, middle class upbringing in a safe, pretty, friendly neighborhood. When they left this earth, they left us a home worth $1.2M as a legacy.
The major sacrifice my mother made for me
What sacrifices did Mom NOT make for me? There were so many. . .her entire life was sacrifice.
There were two significant gifts that came to me from those sacrifices. The first was that I would not spend my childhood and teen years working in the fields as a migrant worker as she had. From kindergarten through eighth grade, we lived in a shack in the middle of an orchard. Lincoln Avenue was the street that ran in front of that orchard and was what separated us from the affluent houses and families on the other side. Mom was very aware of that divide and she made it her job to ensure that we went to school well groomed, in starched and ironed clothes, with a good lunch, and well prepared to learn. She had expectations of me, a higher standard that came with hopes for a better future for me that would take me beyond her own eighth grade education.
Her second significant sacrifice, was the investment she made in me by lending me money so I could enroll at the University of San Francisco extension program to earn my bachelor degree. Years later, when I was downsized out of corporate job, that degree opened doors for me. But it was Mom who provided me the keys to those opportunities.
My Money Mistakes
I’m a living mistake scorecard. If there was a money mistake to be made on the journey, I found it and I made it.
For instance:
1. When I married as a young woman, my spouse and I never talked about money, financial goals, or our money styles…all of which were actually life goals for our lives together. We weren’t even aware that we SHOULD have these conversations; over time, money became an enormous barrier between us and the marriage foundered because of it.
2. I was enticed to sign up for credit cards without understanding that each card was a Loan and that for every dollar loaned to me, the lender charged me $.29. Getting the cards was easy but the obligation to pay these loans monthly kept me off balance because my paycheck would be spent before I’d even received it. Credit cards deprived me of freedom, and spending cash, while keeping me in scarcity. The mysteries of credit card loans kept me financially enslaved for many years.
3. I put my kids through private schools, even though I was receiving NO child support, and it kept us living hand to mouth throughout their school years. Was it a wise choice? It was a double-edged sword. On one hand, my kids were educated in small, nurturing communities that were dedicated to providing them a holistic educational experience, which I loved and had to sacrifice to provide. On the other hand, my children and I had to scrimp painfully and live on the edge of scarcity in order to underwrite those private schools.
4. During the 2008 Recession, my money world fell apart. I had a very expensive mortgage that required every bit of my paycheck along with high property taxes, and ever-increasing homeowners’ association dues. Then, I got Pink-Slipped from my job. Unemployment insurance was not about to cover these and other expenses. I came to the nasty realization that I was going to have to declare bankruptcy and also face foreclosure. This after working hard for 40+ years, never having missed a payment even if it meant “Robbing Peter to pay Paul.” I was 63 years old and proof that you can work a lifetime bringing in a good, steady income and still wind up broke if you haven’t done your money homework.
My significant money accomplishment
Regardless of the money messes I got myself into, I discovered that those mistakes did not defeat me and that it’s never too late to reinvent your money story and reframe, reset, and re-position that story to come out on top.
I decided I wasn’t meant to be broke. I also decided that I needed to get more Money Savvy than I’d ever been before. And, that I needed to put that Money Savvy into my Money Actions NOW, Today, Immediately.
I did things you, too, can do right now if you listen to your Heart’s Desires:
1. Contributed 20% of my salary to my last employer’s 401(k) plan and received a $.30 match for every dollar I set aside in the account. In less than 1 year, I’d saved $10K.
2. Paid off my car; paid off and stopped using credit cards.
3. Had means to travel many times across my home state of California and enjoy its wonders; visited some of Mexico’s most enchanting places. Plans for Paris even as I type.
4. Invested my unemployment insurance money into retraining myself to acquire the skills and knowledge to start my own business.
5. Dug deep into my Gift of Feminine Emotions and gave myself more love, forgave myself for my mistakes, took my dreams off the back burner, gave myself permission to put myself first in all things having to do with money, and passionately believed in my ability to reclaim prosperity. My Money Thoughts, Feelings, Emotions and Mindset energized and propelled me toward the success I craved.
Why Hot Money Relationship is here
Did you know that there’s a Silent Partner in all our relationships? It’s true. That Silent Partner is our Money. And, it’s often the unrecognized presence in all our other relationships whether that means with a significant other or with children or any combination thereof.
But partnered or not-partnered there’s one thing for sure, nothing cushions a woman more during the tough times than the confidence that comes from knowing our Money’s got our back.
For us women, a HOT Money Relationship! ups our game. Because…trust me here…our Money is the one partner who’s always going to be joined to us at the hip for life. If we show it the Love, it loves us back!
It’s a Relationship. And, it started with our first juicy paycheck. And like any relationship, it’s always going to take nurturing and ongoing attention, or it’ll lose steam. As relationships go, this one’s TOO IMPORTANT to ignore.
Now in case there was any doubt, Money is a live, luscious, dynamic, sexy, strong, sparkling energy….and knowing it more intimately can only grow our prosperity.
When we’re in a HOT Relationship with our Money, we can bask in:
• The supreme Self-Worth that’s the essential spice to a HOT Money Relationship
• Empowered Money Emotions and Money Thoughts that attract Abundance
• Committing daily audacious Acts of Self-Love and Money Self-Care that lift
us into Prosperity
• Delicious Options, Choices and Freedom for ourselves and our Loved Ones
• The heartfelt fulfillment of helping Humankind in ways that are deeply meaningful to us
We women are about Emotions. It’s how we’re wired. Why not expansively use our Feminine Gift of Emotions for the best and highest use of our own lives?
At HOT Money Relationship!, we’ll learn more about opening our Feminine emotions, thoughts, and intentions to propel us into the Money actions needed for the luscious life we want to live.
Having a “HOT” Money Relationship means having more Money Options and Choices and Personal Money Power and Freedom. There’s nothing sexier or more energizing!
As a Women’s Wealth Coach, my goal is to help women like you awaken to your prosperity possibilities, fully tap into the power of your Feminine Emotions to sweep aside any barriers to accessing your best Money self, and to unabashedly step forward to take your place at the Table of Prosperity as you deserve.
Outside of coaching, I love life….my children and grandchildren….writing, music, reading, traveling, burning calories at the gym, talking with friends, being my wild, crazy, silly self and laughing a lot.